Looking for something a little bit different? I'm always happy to work with you and incorporate your ideas to create a ceremony that feels right for you. Here are a few of the ceremonies I've done that have been a little bit different, Hindu and Buddhist influenced, handfasting and handblessing, candle, sand and stone ceremonies. Many of them have quite striking visual and ritual elements and quite a lot of fun.
This ceremony includes the Hindu wedding ritual of 7 steps.
On behalf of Rachel and Lucien I would like to welcome you all to this beautiful location this morning. We are now going to witness Rachel and Lucien declare their love and vows for the future. It takes a great deal of courage and commitment to stand before family and friends, all the people they love best, and make public declarations and promises that they intent to abide by for the rest of their lives.
(The 7 steps can also be taken physically, one step for each question)
Celebrant: Lucien and Rachel, will you take the first step of providing for your household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living? Lucien and Rachel: We will
Celebrant: Will you take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers?
Lucien and Rachel: We will
Celebrant: Will you take the third step to increase your wealth by righteous means and proper use?Lucien and Rachel: We will
Celebrant: Will you take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust? Lucien and Rachel: We will
Celebrant: Will you take the fifth step, so that you may be blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children? Lucien and Rachel: We will
Celebrant: Will you take the sixth step, for self-restraint and longevity? Lucien and Rachel: We will
Celebrant: Finally, will you take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock? Lucien and Rachel: We will
Lucien: We have taken the Seven Steps. You have become mine forever. Yes, we have become partners. I have become yours. Hereafter, I cannot live without you. Do not live without me. Let us share the joys. We are word and meaning, united. You are thought and I am sound. May the night be honey-sweet for us; may the morning be honey-sweet for us; may the earth be honey-sweet for us and the heavens be honey-sweet for us.
Rachel: "May the plants be honey-sweet for us; may the sun be all honey for us; may the cows yield us honey-sweet milk. As the heavens are stable, as the earth is stable, as the mountains are stable, as the whole universe is stable, so may our unions be permanently settled."
Rachel and Lucien, now that you have made your promises to share your lives together in accordance with your vows, it is with great pleasure, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
Handfasting and Handblessing
Today we celebrate the love that Karen and Steve have for each other and their decision to share their lives. We are celebrating their lives and all their achievements all the adventures they have shared to this point and all that they share together in the future.
teve and Karen have chosen a reading which captures a lot of the hope, anticipation and happiness they are experiencing today:
Love me because I try to touch life within the framework of uncertainty. Love in me the shadows of my indecision as I strive to gain knowledge. Love in me the silence of my hurts and the noise of my confusions. Love me for the feeling of my heart not the fears of my mind. Love me as I pursue my dreams sometimes retarded by illusions. Love me as I grow to know myself even during the times of stagnation. Love me because I seek God’s harmony not man’s discord. Love me for my body that I wish to share with affection, wrapping you in warmth. Love me because we are different as we are the same. Love me that our time together will be spent in growing, kindling the world with understanding. Love me not with expectations but with hope. I will love you the same.
Karen, you have chosen Steve to be your husband, to share your life with him, will you love honor and care for him with tenderness and affection through all the varying experiences of your life.
Steve you have chosen Karen to be your wife, to share your life with her, will you love honor and care for her with tenderness and affection through all the varying experiences of your life.
Please face each other and hold hands and repeat after me: We promise to love each other with our hearts, body and soul. To remain best friends and to stand by each other. To protect, nurture and empower, to always support and encourage each other to follow your dreams. Together our lives are connectted and will remains so forever.
Please face each other and hold each others hands palms up so you may see the gift they are to you.
Ribbon one: As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound.
Ribbon two: Woven into this cord, imbued into its very fibers, are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together.
Ribbon three: With the fashioning of this knot I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last.
Ribbon four: As your hands are bound by this, the final cord, so is your partnership held by the symbol of this knot. May it be granted that what is done before the gods be not undone by man.
Karen, these are Steve's hands. These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.
These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.
These are the hands that will be nicked and bruised from fixing things around the house to make you more comfortable.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wrack your mind.
These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your check as they raise your face to look into his eyes; eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.
These are the hands that will tenderly hug you tight and tell you that everything will be okay and that together you can accomplish anything.
Steve, these are Karen's hands.
These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges to love you all the days of her life.
These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.
These are the hands that will hold your face and wipe tears from your eyes in wonder and awe that you would cry for her.
These are the hands that will hold you dancing in joy, excitement and laughter.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.
These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.
Bless these hands that you see before you this day. These are the hands that will enter the Sacrament of Matrimony. May they always be held by one another. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love.
May Steve and Karen see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide. These hands are the hope of a troubled humanity. These are the hands that will change the world.
Steve, please take Karen's hand and repeat after me: This wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in partnership.
Karen, please take Steve's hand and repeat after me: This wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in partnership."
It is with great pleasure that I now declare you husband and wife, Steve, you may kiss the bride.
We are now going to sign the marriage register, I'd like to invite Karens sister Karen and Steves sister Sharon to come forward as witnesses.
And so now, in as much as you Karen and you Steve have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, we observe joyfully that you have decleard yourselves to be husband and wife.
Please join with me to wish Karen and Steve a very long and happy life together.
Pebble Ceremony
Melissa and Luke chose something a little different, they included a ritual in which pebbles collected from their favourite beach were given to the guests prior to the ceremony. Guests were asked to hold the pebbles throughout the ceremony and make their wishes for Melissa and Luke's future together. These pebbles were then placed in a glass vase at the end of the ceremony as a keepsake for the couple.
Welcome everyone, I'd like to begin with a question for Melissa's father Peter. One of the most understated relationships in life is that of father and daughter and one of the rare occasions this bond is acknowledged is at a wedding ceremony. So I would like to ask of Peter: Who presents this woman to be married to this man? Peter: I do
Melissa and Luke are delighted that you, their family and friends are here today to witness their marriage and the vows they will shortly make to each other. They are grateful for the love, friendship and support you have given both of them in the past and that you are here today to share their happiness.
Don't think you are here today as mere bystanders, because you're not. You are here today to witness Melissa and Luke make promises, promises they will live and love by for the rest of their lives together. You are also here today to pass on your love and best wishes for Melissa and Luke's future happiness - which brings us to the pebbles you hold in your hands and have probably been wondering about. I'd like to ask that you continue to hold them throughout the ceremony, and as you do, please make your own special wishes for Melissa and Luke.
At the end of the ceremony you are invited to place the pebbles, and the wishes you have endowed them with, into this glass urn. Melissa and Luke will keep this urn and the pebbles and all that they represent as a constant reminder of this, their special day and they hope that it will guide and protect them through their married life and act as a ever-present, visual reminder of the love that surrounds them today.
Marriages are such a happy occasion, it's very true that you can actually feel the happiness and love in the air- it quite tangibly surrounds us. Today we join together two families from two backgrounds and we put aside all differences and are united. Here we are, in this beautiful location, with all the people in the world that Melissa and Luke love best, that love them best. Today offers us a chance to reflect on all that is important in life, friends, family, and love.
Melissa and Luke have chosen the following reading - Fabric of Life - which expresses their happiness at your presence today:
"We wanted our wedding, to be a gathering of those people who our union would mean something to. To be a gathering of just those people we thought so special, That it would be impossible to celebrate this most special day without them. You are the fabric of our lives. As we look around, you make up our tapestry - woven with so many colours and scenes, that the richness vibrates with the depth of its meaning.
Melissa and Luke will now make their promises to each other for their future life together.
Luke, do you take Melissa to be your lawful wedded wife, do you vow to love her, honour and keep her and forsaking all others, keep only unto her, so long as you both shall live. l do.
Melissa, do you take Luke to be your lawful wedded husband, do you vow to love him, honour and keep him and forsaking all others, keep only unto him, so long as you both shall live. I do.
Melissa and Luke, we now we come to your vows. May I remind you that saying your vows are one thing, but nothing is more challenging than living them day-byday. What you promise today must be renewed tomorrow and each day before you. Will you now please turn and face each other and hold hands. .
Luke please repeat after me. I, Luke, take you, Melissa to be my wife,my lover and my friend, the one I will live with, laugh and dream with. A life, to be lived with love, honesty and trust, to communicate fully, to care for you and to share all I can, so that we may grow together and as individuals. This is my promise for our life together.
Melissa please repeat after me. I, Melissa, take you, Luke to be my husband, my lover and my friend, the one I will live with, laugh and dream with. A life, to be lived with love, honesty and trust, to communicate fully, to care for you and to share all I can, so that we may grow together and as individuals. This is my promise for our life together.
Can we have the wedding rings please.
Luke take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you.
Melissa take this ring as a symbol of my love and commitment to you. Melissa and Luke, we have heard you promise to share your lives in marriage. What makes your marriage real and meaningful is the sincerity of these vows made before the people you love most in the world. (Cue for kiss and guests invited to come forward, a pageboy stood nearby with the urn to collect the pebbles)
Candle Ceremonies
The unity candle symbolizes the very essence of the wedding ceremony. Usually two taper candles, representing the couple as individuals, are used to light a single center candle as a visible symbol of their commitment to each other. There are many variations on the ceremony and the individual details are completely up to you. A candle ceremony is usuallly incorporated into the body of the ceremony, a "ceremony within a ceremony" if you like. It tends to appeal to couples seeking a striking visual, ritual aspect for the service. It does require practice and some planning - especially if you are planning an outdoor wedding when consideration has to be given to weather.
Candle ceremony 1
Michelle and Mark the candles you are about to light symblise your union today. The fire is magical because it represents the light of two people in love. And what could more magical than love?
These two separate candles symbolise your lives to this point. Your dreams and aspirations and hopes will now be shared. By taking these candles and lighting the one you join your two lives in one flame.
As they light the candle, Mark and Michelle would like to remind you of what Elizabeth Barrett Browning had to say about the power of love:
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light
(Cue for Mark and Michelle to use the tapers to light unity candle. Once the central candle is lit they extinguish tapers.)
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.
This candle is a meaningful and spiritual symbol of life, light and love, a vivid reminder of the your future together - a lifetime of counting the ways.
Other options:
Bride and Groom come into their marriage relationship as individuals and they do not lose their identity, rather they use their individuality to create and strengthen the relationship of marriage. Therefore, the three candles remain lighted, one for each of them and one for their marriage, as symbols of their commitment to each other and to a lasting and loving marriage."
Bride and Groom please take up the candles, these represent each of you as individuals.As you join the two candles together to light single marriage candle, the flames flare higher than before. This flame of love symbolise how your lives will be richer in your union. The united flame is a powerful symbol representing the warmth of your love and the sacredness of your relationship. It is a lamp that will guide you through every day of your future together.
Sand ceremony
Louise and Jason chose different coloured sands, red for Louise and blue for Jason.
To symbolise this unity Louise and Jason have chosen a sand ceremony. Their relationship is symbolised through the pouring of these two separate containers of sand, one representing you Jason (Jason to pick up his container of sand here) and all that your were and all that you are and all that you will ever be, and the other representing you Louise (Louise to pick up her container of sand here) and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be.
(Cue for Jason and Louise to commence pouring pour sand) These separate containers represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand, your lives are also joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be!
Ceremony with Buddhist influences
For this ceremony the wedding location was equipped with a shrine to Buddha featuring candles, flowers, incense and a statue or image of Buddha. The couple entered, lit the candles and incense sticks surrounding Buddha's image and offered him the flowers within the shrine.
Neil and Sara are happy that today's celebration allows them to share the joy of their love for each other with friends and family, but also because they have the opportunity to express their aspirations for the future.
May your relationship be the equal commitment to the happiness of your partner towards their awakening and also a path dedicated to serving others. Because what is love if not serving others and wishing others happiness?
Remember always that our inner potential is developed through taking on challenges, not just through joy and that your marriage is dedicated toward the happiness of all living beings.
Neils brother Philip will now offer us this blessing from the Buddhist scriptures:
"This is what should be done by the man and woman who are wise, who seek the good, and who know the meaning of the place of peace. Let them be fervent, upright, and sincere, without conceit of self, easily contented and joyous, free of cares; let them not be submerged by the things of the world; let them not take upon themselves the burden of worldly goods; let their senses be controlled; let them be wise but not puffed up, and let them not desire great possessions even for their families. Let them do nothing that is mean or that the wise would reprove. May all beings be happy and at their ease. May they be joyous and live in safety. Standing or walking, sitting or lying down, during all their waking hours, let them establish this mindfulness of goodwill, which is the highest state. Abandoning vain discussions, having clear vision, free from sense appetites, those who are perfect will never again know rebirth."
In five ways should a wife be ministered to by her husband: by respect, by courtesy, by faithfulness, by handing over authority to her, by providing her with ornaments.
In these five ways does the wife minister to by her husband: her duties are well-performed by hospitality to kin of both, by faithfulness, by watching over the goods he brings and by skill and industry in discharging all business.
Neil and Sara, do you pledge to help each other to develop your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity? "We do"
Recognising that the external conditions in life will not always be smooth and that internally your own minds and emotions will sometimes get stuck in negativity. Do you pledge to see all these circumstances as a challenge to help you grow, to open your hearts, to accept yourselves, and each other; and to generate compassion for others who are suffering? Do you pledge to avoid becoming narrow, closed or opinionated, and to help each other to see various sides of situations? We do"
Understanding that just as we are a mystery to ourselves, each other person is also a mystery to us. Do you pledge to seek to understand yourselves, each other, and all living beings, to examine your own minds continually and to regard all the mysteries of life with curiosity and joy? "We do"
Do you pledge to preserve and enrich your affection for each other, and to share it with all beings? To take the loving feelings you have for one another and your vision of each other's potential and inner beauty as an example and rather than spiraling inwards and becoming self absorbed, to radiate this love outwards to all beings? "We do"
When it comes time to part, do you pledge to look back at your time together with joy--joy that you met and shared what you have--and acceptance that we cannot hold on to anything forever? "We do"
Do you pledge to remember the disadvantages of ignorance, anger and clinging attachment, to apply antidotes when these arise in your minds, and to remember the kindness of all other beings and your connection to them? Do you pledge to work for the welfare of others, with all of your compassion, wisdom and skill? "We do"
Do you pledge to work to develop the wisdom understanding the relative functioning nature of things and the wisdom knowing their deeper way of existence that they are empty of inherent existence? And to remember the laws of cause and effect? ‘We do"
Do you pledge day to day, to be patient with yourselves and others, knowing that change comes slowly and gradually, and to seek inspiration from your teachers not to become discouraged? "We do"
Do you pledge to continuously strive to remember your own Buddha nature, as well as the Buddha nature of all living beings? To maintain the awareness that all things are temporary, and to remain optimistic that you can achieve your greatest potential and lasting happiness. "We do"
Neil take Sara's hand and repeat after me: This wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in partnership.
Sara take Neil's hand and repeat after me: This wedding ring is the outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts in partnership."
Everyday you live, learn how to receive love with as much understanding as you give it. Find things within yourself, then you can share them with each other. Do not fear this love. Have an open heart and a sincere mind. Be sincerely interested in each other's happiness. Be constant and consistent in your love. From this comes security and strength. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us on this day of your marriage.
As you have consented together to be bound to one another in lawful marriage, you have made special promises to each other which have been symbolised by the joining of hands, taking of Vows and by the giving and receiving of rings.
I now pronounce you to be husband and wife. Now that the ceremony is over and the experience of living day by day is about to begin, go and meet it gladly.